Forgive To Live - Let's Love the Hurt of of the Bully or Whoever's Hurting

The Salt n' Sweet of Autism - A Life Changed to Inspire



Circle of Unity (The Salt and the Sweet)



Autism is salt and sweet, like my favorite kettle corn, popcorn. And yes it's (Autism’s) pain I've tasted but oh, I commit to it's sweetness that seduces me to remain true, more to it’s sweetness and to its salt, I owe my lessons learned and made better for it. It's to this cause and my daughter, Aja, that I owe my loyalty. Never will I halt my quest to create a Circle of Unity for Autism. I know with God, the final battle will be won with love, Unity and positivity. So let me give of my time, my life’s lessons learned in servitude as I feel I am being guided, never will I leave those that have and will have confided. So to my new friends and older ones know I am true to the salt and the sweet of Autism, it is to this I am tried, true and ready to do what I can for the future of man and woman. So will you join me, in making a Circle of Unity because it’s not just for me it’s for the sweet and salt of Autism and the future of our children, so please walk with me. Walk with me, so we can create a Circle of Unity, Open to you and me and creating great friendships along the way. Come what may, we will find a cause, and if there’s a cure to be found, let us not forget, there’s a will there's a way.





Ginaration © and Tweet4autism ©


FORGIVE AND LOVE TO LIVE

FORGIVE AND LOVE TO LIVE You know, while I have been on this journey of re-learning, so to speak, I have found that somehow, the answers that one seeks, come along as they may, at their own will, rather if i must say, at the Universe's will. The main lesson that I can write to you is that one must remember to be quiet enough to hear the answer when it does come. Either way, fighting and struggling to get the answers most often isn't the best way. Being still usually is. I am not saying give up but rather wait in a way that is known that you need answers, but step back and humbly seek them, with you passion kindling beneath the surface (so that you don't miss something either way). I guess I'm trying to say while being quiet, you can still be vigilant. The key is to stay calm while doing so. The answers you seek will come at the darnedest of times and it's especially true what they say, answers come when they are least expected, when you are in a state of clear minded focus, but not placing too much pressure on what it is you are seeking. During this period of yes, you may be filled with sheer plain human anxieties and stress-not wanting to wait, again be still. Most of the time, I have found, they come from those who really love and care for you. I just needed to take the time to listen, be still and figure out where to find the answers. This time, it was my daughter, again. I have been having the hardest trouble with figuring out how to approach http://www.tweet4autism.com/. I always seemed to come up with these grandiose ideas, even one with a trip to Las Vegas for ten winners! Crazy and too much. Like if I could, how would I have enough staff to handle such a venture! Where I used to work in the entertainment industry (for almost thirty years), the task would have been was easier - I don't work there or anywhere, anymore. That's another story. Funny, by being still, I'm also finding that my writing and creative talents are coming back, part of the of the dreams I had in childhood - one was to be a writer. Anyway, back to the subect at hand, I'm only one person, trying to figure out my message across or several messages (with me, ideas come in droves) but I really just needed less confusion and one basic message that would tell people that I'm on a journey but this one was about advocating for my daughter withing this journey for myself, rekindling my spirit as well. I believe the answers were there, already waiting on me but like I said, I wasn't being still and although my guide is walking in love, to a certain extent (and here comes the honesty), I was thinking that I could do everthing, quickly. I think it's just we'd been through so much as well, that I sometimes got confused as well as even angry at times remembering the things that we done to my family. It made me lose time. Time lost can energy gained to catch up and try to do what you can with the love inside and the skills and knowledge gained along the way. I knew I wanted things to change for others and I want people to learn from what my family had been through. I'll get into that later. For now, my view of autism and bullying, in a world filled with others that are fighting to do the get their messages across, I wanted to get a good message that was as sincere and honest as one could be. I wanted to encompass that yes, while I am seeking being true to me which I have learned it will make me a better me, I also wanted to be that mom, that activist and advocate (justice for all). I had been sending my ideas to various people and I hope they don't think I'm crazy, because I am (not) with all of the over-the-top, over-cooked and not well thought out ideas until one day I just said, I'm tired. In as much as I want to make sure my legacy is clear, I was exhausted. Finally, I had to breathe. I did and sure enough, the answer came running up the stairs one day in the form of this beautiful person, my daughter. Yes, a few weeks ago, my daughter comes running up the stairs saying, mom, I hope you are sitting down, if not, you need to. I was all excited to hear her news and it was big. She said, mom, I saw so and so, the girl who bullied me in the sixth grade. In my prior story, I spoke of the girl who bullied my daughter or who was the main bully in her sixth grade graduating year. She said, but guess what mom, the girl said my name isn't let's call her L., she said her name is Rebecca and this Rebecca person said she didn't bully Aja (my daughter) but that she was her couisin. Aja, who doesn't forget a face, especially not the girl who'd bullied her for an entire year and brought along most of the sixth grade with her while she did her reign of terrorizing, couldn't believe that it wasn't L, the bully. Aja told me she told Rebecca who we will find out a week later that she really was her bully(really L). about the story of how her life was made into a living daily nightmare. Well, "Rebecca" really the bully, listened to Aja's story intently and my daughter said that Rebecca went to all of her friends standing nearby and told them the story. Aja walked away but since she also has a pair of the most fantastic ears ever (I think she can hear as well as Rocket, our dog). Aja told of how scared she was inside, how she cried many nights and how she wished that she didn't have to go to school with her. She said thankfully, my mom took me out of school and I spent the entire rest of the semester with my mom at home. Anyway, Aja said she could of sworn it was her bully, L but she said oh well, I guess it was her cousin, and we both were tired so we went to sleep. However, in the back of my mind, I wanted to call her school, where this meeting took place. I also wondered what in the world my daughter's bully would be going to the same school as Aja. It slipped my mind and I guess that's the way the Universe wanted it. At the time, my daughter said she really hoped it was L. Her heart was beating so hard, she said but she also said, she wasn't scared this time. She said if it had been L,her bully, she would have been the same, passionate way. I told her don't worry honey, I'm right here and I hugged her and she said she was fine. I was going to call the school the next day, but like I said the all in due time... A week later, Aja comes bounding up the stairs again as if I were seeing a re-run of the week before. She makes me laugh when she does this because it's like my seventeen year old back in third grade. I can hear and literally feel the joy in her voice because she's trying to talk so fast and run at the same time that the words barely come out! I feel so much love (yeah, I know, it's a mom thing) - okay, moving right along here. This time though, she said she was much more animated, much more excited. I said Aja, what's going on and she proceeded to tell me that that the girl that she said was her bully, actually was! The girl who said she was Rebecca lied. The supposed "cousin" was really L, the bully! I almost choked on the soda I was drinking! Aja just believed her because her hair was changed and she hadn't seen her in years, aside being in her nightmares. At school that day, L, "cousin Rebecca" really her bully, L. asked to see Aja. She pulled her to the side and told her that she felt so bad, she said that what she did her was the stupidest thing she ever did. L began to cry and Aja couldn't think of anything to do but to reach out and hug her. It's very interesting this time because Aja was not the least bit scared. She had been, but not anymore. Perhpas my daughter's gained education, self-esteem and teaching about forgiveness and love at home had paid off. I inquired, "Aja, you didn't ask her why she picked on you?" She said no mom, I don't care anymore. Aja said, mom, I forgave her and told her okay, so now that this is finally over, can we be friends? Aja told me that L looked at her face and since she stopped crying, she thought that that question was appropriate. I cried because I knew that Aja was on her way to being healed and she is growing up when she said those words. I think my hand was shaking by the time she finished. I'm telling you, the tears were welling up in my eyes. I'm such a cry baby! You see, Aja, being autistic, is beginning to recognize the little nuances that say I get the social cues that are so hard sometimes for autistics to comprehend/understand as we say "neaurotypicals" do. Autistics have a harder time with things "emotions" like what to do next if someone is crying like her bully was and reading the expression on her face. And rather than just understanding, she is "feeling" the feelings that others feel. She said, mom, I felt bad for her but at the same time, I felt myself get all warm inside. I just felt like I needed to hug her. This was so huge! Aja had just turned seventeen this month as well. I'm ecstatic. Not a few months prior, her social worker said, she has the mind of an eight year old. I couldn't believe she said that! I knew she was wrong and so did everyone else. That social worker is no longer at the school anyway because the school requested her not to be there, I found out later. There's a back story to this, I'll explain later. We need better social workers and I knew that Aja was way ahead of what that comment said of her. Guess that's one reason why she no longer works at the school. They felt the same way. Not only has Aja made one friend, she'd made two and also felt and could articulate feelings, not just acting things out. Yes, she felt awkward, but she also knew instinctively what to do. This tells me that my Aja is not only growing up but my one on one teaching is paying off. Aja made a friend the during the first week of February, during her birthday month and then she forgave an enemy, and made a new friend as well. I am in awe of her! I learned so many lessons these past few weeks. First, that spending the time with my daughter has paid off in ways that only a mother with a daughter who has autism or another "doability" could understand. She has begun to see and "feel" things although I knew she could always feel things, she couldn't articulate them. She can now. She can also "see" what feelings mean to others, which is a difficult nuance of social behaviour for an autistic person to act out and/or speak of. After seven years of my daughter always speakingg of "being scared" to see her bully if she ever saw her, she wasn't. Aja also said she said she never wanted to see L in her life again. However, I taught my daughter what forgiveness means as well as what a 'gut' feeling feels like. Actually, I believe she has seen me forgive so many times and then talk about it, that she is grasping it. One can not teach a child without actually doing that action or seeing the action take place, so imagine how hard it must be for a person that has autism to grasp "feelings". Another lesson, actions speak volumes louder than words! I also talk about love because I tell her daily that I love her. I do not forget. I believe that day that the day that she spoke to her bully, both love and forgiveness were present. Needless to say, I'm grateful that she is growing up and that I am not as afraid to leave her an aisle away in the grocery store. I'm not scared to leave a couple of aisles because it's clear to me that she has listened to what I have always taught her. She's almost eighteen. College is around the corner! When she's away from me, I tell her to listen to what her gut tells her. I told her her heart is her gut. If the feelings she feels are not good for someone, walk away. Or keep her distance. If she can't "read" them, be cautious. If she gets a good feeling, still be cautious but cautiously optimistic and watchful. If it's clear cut danger, like the time we were over a friends home having Thanksgiving Dinner and a man walked in and immediately the hairs on the back of my neck rose. As quickly as I felt those feelings, apparently so did Aja. She came quickly to me (this was around age twelve) and said to me, mom, I felt as if that man was going to eat me (meaning hurt her - back then her speech was much more animated, she spoke to me many times in terms of how animals would if they could speak to their children). It's clear that the things that she is being taught is paying off and it was then, too. I am grateful to life lessons teaching me the things I've learned. Hard earned but not unrewarded. Being a single parent, being alone a lot has taught me to be self reliant and not always being able to pick up the phone and call a friend. So, I call upon my higher power. It has paid off in more ways than one. Always listen to that still place in your heart, it doesn't matter what you're doing. So, I hope this helps you. I know this helped me. My head is now not in the clouds. My dreams are, though. I will always be a dreamer. A thinker. A creator. I'm made in the likeness of all that surrounds me. I'm like you and you are like me. We are human and are capable to so much. And so by my daughter forgiving her bully, I am not directed to say that bullying can only be fully cured by love. It's how you forgive yourself for being angry at the bully and the bully being angry at you! The earlier you do this, the earlier the bully can possibly go on and be a cooperative member of society. I wonder how long that Aja's bully felt shameful. Guilty. That time could have been saved had perhaps me or someone else come along earlier and said, hey, are you okay? I recall that I did try that once (I asked the father could I speak to his daughter and he did give me permission, however, when I said that in a meeting, he siad he didn't give me that permission). I grew up with the father of the daughter that bullied my Aja Face). Anyway, that's over now. We are on our way to being healed and I have my answer on how to to move forward in my journey to keep my promises. And by the way, now I know what tweet4autism.com and tweet4autism's message will be. It will begin with trying to educate others on the power of forgiveness. This message will be my platform when it comes to this particular cause. I know my direction now. Yes, perhaps you can teach your bully about love. Before it gets to far, talk to your parents (if your are someone younger reading this) but parents and caregivers, try to forgive your child's bully. And the parent and others who are against against you (in my case, they really were). Ask them to see about helping the person that is doing the bullying. Seek out ally's to intevene who this child is doing this to in order to be able to intervene sooner. Be observant, but still. If you are person being bullied, you have to reach out to someone to help you. I know it's scary. But be strong and the Universe will help you do the rest. You can't do anything alone, really. Well, anything that that hs to do with a bully. You need help. We as a community needs to help the bully so we can help to hydrate their souls to become and be who they wish to be and not be hampered by evilness and having poor self-esteem because they feel if they don't go along with the other bullies, they will be bullied. One is strong if they can stand against the tide and hold firm without the weight of the water knockign them down. However, you need the power of love and the help of others to make this possible. It could be that the bully is hurting worse than the one he or she is hurting. I want our message to be about loving thy neighbor. Of course, if you see that the bully is beyond help, that's a different story (like the one who tried to assault my daughter by smothering her in the second grade). But, if there is one you see that can be helped, perhaps it's up to the parents and their children to surround that bully with love (as well as the teachers and other people that are supposed to help "love the hate" out of the bully. That's our message. That's Ginaration's message. It always has been and now, it's morphed itself to my daughter. Do you think it's possible that it will morph to others as well? I'm counting on it. And remember, the bully could be the parents. Where do you think the bully could be learning their behaviour? It could just be possible it's the from their home. It's quite possible because the parents bullied me of the child who bullied Aja. Sad but true. The major lesson in all of this is that like I said, I learned even more so to remember to be still and remember that love is my guide, always. I want my message to be clear, I also want others to know how I arrived there. Now I know that my message will be to forgive to live. It's in the forgiving of others, that we let go and learn to live. We let go of the anger, the fear, of everything that holds us back from realizing our dreams. one of my dreams is to change the world of autism, for others to begin to see them for the true beautiful beings that they are. The wonderful gifts they have to give, just like everyone else. We live in this world with a big, beautiful planet and there's room in it for lots of people! There's enough room for many people to live on this planet with us, together, in peace. If we want to call them different, we should look at ourselves. We all have differences, it doesn't mean that we can't give to society. You know, the bully and the autistic can kind of be the same. People look at them as being a certain way, both of them. But if you uncover what is really lurking underneath, you just may uncover that the person needs love just like we all do. And by giving that back to them, it may just change their world. That is what tweet4autism is all about. We want to get the message out to forgive the bully. Look at the autistic with eyes of love. You may be surprised what you may see. I personally, have seen so much love in one child, that things will never be the same (for the better). If she's different, so what. It's okay. She gives me more love than anyone else ever has and it's unconditional. You'd be blessed to uncover the same in another person. Perhaps you'd find that in a bully. Also, the parent of the bully should start to really listen and begin to listen to their child. I think they need an extra dose or doses of love. A person who loves you regardless of the bad or good is just what they may need. So come on in my life as it's never without some drama. Learn with me, grow with me, trust in me. Keep reading and you will see me. And how I want to fulfill a lifetime's worth of dreams that I thought we long forgotten. SponsoredTweets referral badge

TWEET4AUTISM and MY DAUGHTER

FORTHCOMING

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

"TEAMLOVEEMUP" LOVE INTERVENTION

 LIFE INFUSION BY USING FORGIVENESS - HYDRATING SOULS OF
                                    THE  LOST, LONELY AND THE BULLY



I know, this may sound totally corny to some of you, however, after I wrote the blog about how my daughter forgave her bully a last week.  It has been so different for me and for my daughter, son and mom (my support system).  It's almost like forgiveness on everything has hit our household like a wonderful wave of warmth and it has been very contagious.  We find ourselves not blaming for the little things that go on in our day.  Or saying, hey this is ridiculous, arguing over who left the glass out on the sink or who drank the last of the juice in the fridge.  Please, some people don't have any drinks in their refrigerator, nor do they have a fridge for that matter.

We hope you know by now, my website http://www.tweet4autism.com/, was having a rough start.  I'd tried all sorts of things and while I have been a very excited, motivated and love driven advocate for autism and the plight of those that are bullied (due to my daughter being bullied her entire childhood), there was a valuable lesson I learned along the way. 

In my excitedness to do something for autism, I kept missing the mark. I kept missing what it was that I was meant to be doing although I have tweeted some great tweets!  However, in the beginning I promised to always remember to keep the message of love in my mind and in the minds of others, in other words, to always be guided by God and karma, not to become too competitive.  I wanted badly to keep my promise to myself and others, by remaining true to myself, the autism cause, God and all those whom I love along with my friends I meet along the way who feel the same and believe in the same things.  Shortly after having angst due to being confused and thinking to"far outside the box", if there is such a thing.  Evenually, the Universe brought me the answer.  Though I had to be still for a spell, which is quite hard when you are struggling as a single parent - I guess what I'm trying to say is that one must remain true to your cause.  My grandiose thinking wasted my time and the time of others (lol, Holly R. Peete, with all of my proposals).  Say, hey, how would you like to win a trip to Vegas with lots o others to join you, including thousands across the country, etc.  I lost my way and I'm sure others were confused by it.  This may have worked when I worked in the music industry and had some staff to help me but not now that I'm not working.   And the Universe will not give you more than you can handle; push too hard and it''ll push back harder. leaving you exhausted and confused, which is exactly what happened to me.   It did by not being able to sleep and thinking I could do everythng.  Not!  And then one day I just said no more Twitter, Facebook, nothing for a moment.  I neeeded to relax.  I needed to listen to what the Universe and those who love me had to say.  My answer came bounding up the stairs in the form of my daughter the day she forgave her main bully.  Please be so kind to find out what I mean in my previous blog from last week, 'Forgive to Live".  Eureka!  No more sleepless nights and trying to ponder what I was doing wrong. 

By Aja simply reaching out and hugging her bully, which is hard for autistics to do, I knew that not only was healing beginning after the seven years mentioned in my earlier blog but my answer as to what our message would be came to me.  Yes, it's always about raising awareness but, I needed a closure point so that peope could grasp my message of hope.  And as you read, that healing is  beginning.  And now, my message is clear, to forgive is so huge.  To forgive your bully, to forgive others in life, it can be the beginning of a "life infusion", so to speak.  From this, I gathered that by Loving the Hurt or Hate and rage out of the bully and join #teamloveemup, perhaps we can start to heal others.  Instead of turning our backs by spewing back the same hurt that was dealt to you, or turning your backs and giving up (like I did by moving and running away, which isn't me at all), turn around and speak words of kindness and better yet, our actions speak louder than anything.  Acting in love is better than acting out hate.  We are doing the same thing that the bully expects, getting angrier by the second for someone not turning around and giving them a big hug.  Instead, we turn our backs or we don't push hard enough for the bully to change. 

You see, somewhere along the line, someone or something was more than likely done to the bully or person that is hurtng, that is making them need this attention.  I say, let's begin by loving the hurt or hate of of the bully or the person that is makng all the fuss and ruckus.    Those that are depressed, something I have suffered with my entire life.  Right now, this is about others.  My story will come in time.  Just know I have a lot of first had experience in being hurt, so I know the thinking behind the rage.  Some people hide theirs, very well.  For no one to seel
Anyway and more importantly, folks are hurting!   And especially now, everyone needs love.  Those going through divorce, those losing their homes, loved ones and having issues and diseas.  Oh, there's just so much that although my cause is autism, in my journey to change the world, I know that I can't just stick to that. Please, if you are hurting, send me an e-mail if you want to talk.  Visit our website or my blog and I will be putting up inspirational poems and videos for others to listen and look at.  Yes, while I am connected to autism, I am also connected to others who need love.  Love Thy Neighbor, like I've written before, it covers all of them in one commandment!  Man, if we'd just use the KIIS theory (keep it simple stupid), we'd feel so much better.  I just have the problem of remembering to use it (stupid me, lol)!

You know the tragedy of all of this is that people don't feel comfortable to tell us that they are hurting.  That's why there are the Facebook's and Twitter's (no knocking) that are so lucrative.  Yes, while it's great to show that the happy parts of people's lives,  those very people who are telling us all is hunky dory, are cryng in their pllow at night!  Our society shuns those that hurt and it's very sad.  So, I am partly here to not be the so popular one and show through our talents of writing, singing, and all that God has given me, that I can be okay.  And by doing this, perhaps those that are the bullies, will come out a little bit more and tell us what makes them hurt. There are so many that need love, especially the bully and those that are hurting.  They don't know how to communicate that to us.  They perhaps have been bullied themselves or shouting and arguing is all they know.  Hate is all they have seen.  They live in world full of hate, no hope - we need that love that the bully has to give, it's in there somewhere.   So, why not instead of giving the bully a dose of his or her own medicine by giving them the cold shoulder, turning our backs on them, shutting them out, etc., why can't we put that energy  into showng them love or at least letting them know how that it hurts that they bully you. I know there are a few bullies that are beyond repair but I venture to say that more often than not, the bully can be cured by the power of love.  And the earlier, the better so that all of that great energy that the young person has to give and the gifts they have to show us, can be used to love the world and not hate it nd better yet, give back to it..  A few suggestions are listed below.

                                                   TeamLoveEmUp

1)  Get together with others that you know and are friends with you to write
     the bully a note telling them how much you hurt.  Tell them what makes
     you hurt when they do what they do.  Tell them exactly how you feel
     without hurting their feelings.  My daughter was torchered by her bully.
     Let's not let it get to that point. Heck, I was torchered by the family of the
     bully.  What I should have done, is turned around "loved the hurt" out of
     them but I couldn't see that back then.

2) Parents, get involved by helping  your child to forgive.  While forgiving
     though, go to the principal and powers that be to have a meeting.   
     Insteadof a meeting whereby there is blame, pain in the room, let it be
     filled with words of support and love, surrounding the child in love.  
     Teachers, try to make the parents of the bully feel at home because we \ 
     don't know what they are going through at home.  I bet there is so
     much hurt and pain not only in school, but  in church, or your
     community.  Please don't use the "God complex" attitude that some 
     teachers and administrators have.  Be sure, parents to also protect 
     your bully from those that want to "report" any issue to Child 
     Protective Services.   Ask that a tape recorder be brought into the room if
     you think it's going to be hostile.  Please, try to keep the atmosphere open
     and inviting.  Unfortunately, there are some bullies that are beyond this
     type of help, like when they bite, hit, scream - I had to have a police officer
     in a meeting to warn the parents of my child that they needed to control
     their child.  He had spit, kicked, bitten and hit his teacher prior to him
      tryng to smother Aja.  I didn't know that until a few days before our
     meeting.  Unfortunately, he brought a knife to school at the urging of his
     dad.  Very sad that he would no longer be able to attend school in that
     school district after that.  I could have tried to spend more time with the
     parents however, it was rumored they weren't the cooperative type. 
3) Do a lost, lonely or bully intervention -  Get together just like you would
     if the person was an alcoholic.  Tell them what's good about them.  I don't
     suggest saying what's bad, however do let them know that they are hurting
     others.  If possible, all people affeted by the person who is lost, lonely or
     bullied should be involved in this "teamloveemup" intervention.


4) Do like my daughter did.  Tell your bully in front of others, how you feel.
     Say, hey that's isn't right.  Would you like it if someone bigger than you
     tripped you?  I don't suggest this unless a grown up is around.

 5) Tell an educator that you would like to talk to your bully.  You would like
     to even put a plan in place where the teacher or caregiver is nearby when
     the confronting will begin, that way eveerone is protected.  In no way am I
     suggesting to confront your bully in an angry way.  That does nothing but
     bring on more anger.  It should always be done in a controlled atmosphere
     if possible.

6)  I also say that one should perhaps take a class to learn how to empower
      themselves.  It does wonders for one's self esteem.  The martial arts is 
      a good place to start.  I only suggest this because no one should ever be
      caught off guard and not know how to defend themselves in a sitution 
      that it is necessary for one's survival.  I don't condone violence but I do
      condone self-preservation.  These days there are other types of bullies
      that both children and adults must be wary of  (burglars, pedophiles, 
      sexual offenders)...   
  
7) Educating others is key.  It is my belief that we should have
     "teamloveemup's" at schools, churches, everywhere!  If our shools knew
      that there was a group of people that it was okay be good, then I believe
      we'd have better schools and better children.  Promote good, let's stop
      promoting the Charlies Sheen's of the world, although he's very lost and if   
      someone doesn't get to Charlie fast, he will not be with us much longer.  In
      my best guestimation (and since I have predicted a few things that have
      come to pass like my brothers death, several earthquakes - it's a gift).   By
      educating the bully and letting them know that there is another way, then
      perhaps we can begin to hydrate the souls of those that are hurting, not  
      just the bully.  Loving others is a great educator.  Life doesn't have to be
      about a reality but not really reality show!  We have enough drama, right?


 If you would like more suggestions on how you could become part of "Team
loveemup", let me know by sending me an e-mail at     gina.huckaby@tweet4autism.com.  I would like to start a newsletter.


We would love it if you would help our cause by purchasing a t-shirt to keep
tweet4autism going and raising awareness for autism. 

Thank you.

Friday, March 04, 2011

Forgive to Live

You know, while I have been on this journey of re-learning, so to speak, I have found that somehow, the answers that one seeks, come along. The only thing one must remember is to be sure to be aware of your surroundings because the answers you seek come at the darnedest of times. Most of the time, I have found, they come from those who really love and care for you. I just needed to take the time to listen, be still and figure out where to find the answers. This time, it was my daughter, again.



















I have been having the hardest trouble with figuring out how to approach http://www.tweet4autism.com/. I always seemed to come up with these grandiose ideas, even one with a trip to Las Vegas for ten winners! Crazy and too much. Like if I could, how would I have enough staff to handle such a venture! Where I used to work in the entertainment industry, this was easy I don't work there anymore. I'm only one person, trying to figure out my message to change the world's view of autism in a world filled with otherss that are fighting to do the same. I've been sending my ideas to various people and I hope they don't think I'm crazy, because I am (not) with all of these over-the-top, over-cooked and not well thought out ideas until one day I just said, I'm tired. In as much as I want to make sure my legacy is clear, I also have to take time to listen to the stillness sometimes. And when I did, the sleepless nights were non-existent. And the answer(s) came.


















A few weeks ago, my daughter comes running up the stairs saying, mom, I hope you are sitting down, if not, you need to. I was all excited to hear her news and it was big. She said, mom, I saw so and so, the girl who bullied me in the sixth grade. In my prior story, I spoke of the girl who bullied my daughter or who was the main bully in her sixth grade graduating year. She said, but guess what mom, it wasn't (let's call her L) L. Aja, who doesn't forget a face, especially not the girl who'd bullied her for an entire year and brought along most of the sixth grade with her, couldn't believe that it wasn't L, the bully but the girl insisted she wasn't, that she was her cousin, Rebecca. Aja told me she told Rebecca about the story of how her life was made into a living daily nightmare. Well, the girl listened to Aja's story intently and my daughter said that Rebecca went to all of her friends standing nearby and told them the story. Aja walked away but since she also has a pair of the most fantastic ears ever, I think she can hear as well as Rocket, our dog, she heard this Rebecca person tell her friends the entire story. Aja told of how scared she was inside, how she cried many nights and how she wished that she didn't have to go to school with her. She said thankfully, my mom took me out of school and I spent the entire rest of the semester with my mom at home. Anyway, Aja said she could of sworn it was her bully, L but she said oh well, I guess it was her cousin. She said she really hoped it wasn't L. Her heart was beating so hard, she said but she also said, she wasn't scared this time. I told her don't worry honey, I'm right here and I hugged her and she said she was fine. I was going to call the school the next day, but it slipped my mind. I guess it was God's way for me to not follow-up as I usually do because something happened a week later....


















A week later, Aja comes bounding up the stairs again as if I were seeing a re-run of the week before. She makes me laugh when she does this because it's like my seventeen year old back in third grade. I can hear and literally feel the joy in her voice because she's trying to talk so fast and run at the same time that the words barely come out! I feel so much love (yeah, I know, it's a mom thing) - okay, moving right along here. This time though, she said she was much more animated, much more excited. I said Aja, what's going on and she proceeded to tell me that that the girl that she said was her bully, actually was! The girl who said she was Rebecca lied. the cousin was really L, the bully! I almost choked on the soda I was drinking! At school that day, she asked to see Aja. She pulled her to the side and told her that she felt so bad, she said that what she did her was the stupidest thing she ever did. Aja was right (the only difference was her hair, that's why Aja wasn't exactly sure). L began to cry and Aja couldn't think of anything to do but to reach out and hug her. I said, Aja, you didn't ask her why she picked on you? She said no mom, I don't care anymore. Aja said, mom, I forgave her and told her okay, so now that this is finally over, can we be friends? Aja told me that L looked at her face and since she stopped crying, she thought that that question was appropriate. I cried because I knew that Aja was on her way to being healed and she is growing up when she said those words. I think my hand was shaking by the time she finished. I'm telling you, the tears were welling up in my eyes. I'm such a cry baby!


















You see, Aja is beginning to recognize the little nuances that say I get the social cues that are so hard sometimes for autistics to comprehend/understand better. Autistics have a harder time with these things "emotions" like what to do next if someone is crying like her bully was and reading the expression on her face. And rather than just understanding, she is "feeling" the feelings that others feel. She said, mom, I felt bad for her but at the same time, I felt myself get all warm inside. I just felt like I needed to hug her. This was so huge! Aja had just turned seventeen this month as well. I'm ecstatic. Not a few months prior, her social worker said, she has the mind of an eight year old. I couldn't believe she said that! We need better social workers and I knew that Aja was way ahead of what that comment said of her. Guess why she no longer works at the school They fel the same way. Not only has Aja made one friend, she'd made two and also felt and could articulate feelings, not just acting things out. Yes, she felt awkward, but she also knew instinctively what to do. This tells me that my Aja is not only growing up but my one on one teaching is paying off. Aja made a friend the during the first week of February, during her birthday month and then she forgave an enemy, and made a new friend as well. I am in awe of her!


















I learned so many lessons these past few weeks. First, that spending the time with my daughter has paid off in ways that only a mother with a daughter who has autism or another "doability" could understand. She has begun to see and "feel" things although I knew she could always feel things, she couldn't articulate them. She can now. She can also "see" what feelings mean to others, which is a difficult nuance of social behaviour for an autistic person to act out and/or speak of. After seven years of my daughter always speakingg of "being scared" to see her bully if she ever saw her, she wasn't. Aja also said she said she never wanted to see L in her life again. However, I taught my daughter what forgiveness means. Actually, I believe she has seen me forgive so many times and then talk about it, that she grasped it. I also talk about love because I tell h er daily that I love her. I do not forget. I believe that day that the day that she spoke to her bully, both love and forgiveness were present. Needless to say, I'm grateful that she is growing up and that I am not as afraid to leave her an aisle away in the grocery store. I'm not scared to leave a a couple of aisles because it's clear to me that she has listened to what I have always taught her. To listen to what her gut tells her. I told her her heart is her gut. If the feelings she feels are not good for someone, walk away. If she can't read them, be cautious. If she gets a good feeling, still be cautious but cautiously optimistic and watchful. It's clear that the things that she is being taught is paying off and I am grateful to life lessons teaching me the things I've learned. Hard earned but not unrewarded. Being a single parent, being alone a lot has taught me to be self reliant and not always being able to pick up the phone and call a friend. So, I call upon my higher power. It has paid off in more ways than one. Always listen to that still place in your heart, it doesn't matter what you're doing.


















Oh, and don't always listen to psychologists. You know better than anyone else the growth of your own child. Jeez, you are probably a better one than the psychologist is! Okay, that wasn't directed at the good ones, because there are some darn good ones. I'm only speaking of ones that have spend time with your loved one and they say things only to make sure they have a job in the next few months. Don't let them tell you things that simply aren't true. Question them. Get it in writing. Don't sign anything that you believe isn't true. EVER!


















So, I hope this helps you. I know this helped me. My head are in the clouds. And by the way, now I know what tweet4autism.com and tweet4atutism's message will be. It will be about tweeting about loving the bully. But most of all love yourself. Yes, perhaps you can teach your bully about love. Before it gets to far, talk to you parents and those who love you. Ask them to see about helping the person that is doing the bullying. It could be that the bully is hurting worse than the one he or she is hurting. I want our message to be about loving thy neighbor. Of course, if you see that the bully is beyond help, that's a different story (like the one who tried to assault my daughter by smothering her in the second grade). But, if there is one you see that can be helped, perhaps it's up to the parents and their children to surround that bully with love (as well as the teachers and other people that are supposed to help "love the hate" out of the bully. That's our message. That's Ginaration's message. It always has been and now, it's morphed itself to my daughter. Do you think it's possible that it will morph to others as well? I'm counting on it. And remember, the bully could be the parents. Where do you think the bully could be learning their behaviour? It could just be possible it's the from their home. It's quite possible because the parents bullied me who bullied Aja. Sad but true. At the same time, I also remembered that I always taught her the power or forgiveness.


















So, I hope this message brings to some peace. More stories to come. My life is never without some drama. Trust me!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Find and Speak (A Possible Speaking Game)

Addendum to previous post written 11/26/10




Yes, goodmorning Mr. Sun, as you quietly go about waking up the souls that you need to in order for your work to be done.  You played peek-a-boo with me, and even in spite of the blinds being closed, you shined  your light on me and so many others who are writers at their core, so the work that is at hand can be done with the writers hand. It is not a chore. I am the vessel and I gladly do this to hopefully bring some news that will help families who go through the struggles with autism.  Today, I will write so that they can obtain information that just may help someone who has this doability to be inspired to speak.  It is my hope, it is my dream.  And I'm reminded those dreams come from the higher power that gives them to me!  So, I hope today that a mother, a father, a caregiver will take this advice and at least give it a try.  One never knows what good can occur when the work is coming from a spiritually good place. 

Is it not funny how a story or a set of events can "tweak" your brain into remembering something that can be of importance to another? This is just what happened to me.  I was reading a story about a young girl named Jessika, who is ten years old.  Her mother is quite worried and has been for a while because she can't speak or does so minimally.  She doesn;t sleep either.  However, she is getting some nutritional help from @adea4life (I don't know if it has directly attributed to her getting better but, you can research for yourself as I can't endorse until I know it works for myself - Mr. Huntington however, is responsible for bringing this story to me for which I'm quite thankful on Twitter). It's not the only time I've been moved to want to help someone .  However, at this moment in time, my memory was "tweaked" (like the battery charger used to charge your car battery, your brain can be "jump started") into recalling something that may help others, in this case, it's the Jessika's and their families in the world who have autism who can't speak.    Meaning, why had I not recalled this information before?  I don't know.  But, I'm a firm believer that everything happens in the exact moment it's supposed to and you are where you are at that very moment to either be receptive to a higher forces that give one direction. Everything happens at the time its supposed to.


There isn't any expensive equipment needed.  What I remembered may help your child be able to begin the journey to speak, as the game is fun and doesn't require expensive tools or equipment. A lot of parents are unable to afford these types of materials, so this may help some. If I'm able to help one person, so be it. And let me be clear, I am in no way stating that this a guarantee that will lead you child to speak, as I only have circumstantial evidence at this time. However, I urge you who are having problems with your child speaking to at least give it a try as it can't hurt. And below please read about why it is we started this game with my beautiful now teenager. 


Before Aja was two, she barely spoke. She gestured, smiled and pointed a lot. She did attempt to speak, like she tried to make the sounds to letters but she was having a really hard time. She cried a lot, too, I thought she was colicky, so the doctor put her on a soy bean formula, which seemed to help. A lot of times, because she didn't sleep well, I would put her in the car and ride around the block and off to sleep she'd go. I then noticed that she didn't sleep as well as my son, who if you gave him a bottle, he would sleep the entire night. Also, he spoke full sentences two-word sentences by a year and a half, whereas she didn't say her very first words until the age of two. Those words were "Happy Birthday". We were stunned. She said them as we walked into the big room where there was a banner that read those words at a birthday party. I remember it as if it were yesterday, as clear in my mind as if it were today. I'll never forget it. It is my belief that she remembered those words because we played a game called Find and Speak because she liked Hide and Seek so much.  The game included the words "Happy Birthday" as well as she listened and watched Barney a lot who always said Happy Birtday.  Let me explain what led us to do this, (I say we because my mother lived with me in my apartment at the time).

During the time Aja didn't speak, the entire time, we thought that she should have been speaking earlier. She kind of mumbled, pointed and smiled. She always looked at me, very intently. Anyway, I told the doctor all of the above, how she didn't talk, how she seemed to "stare" at me a lot, how she cried, but her doctor stated she'd be fine. I subsequently did a little research and found out that at age two, she should be speaking full two-word sentences; and before that she should have been saying words, like my son did. I figured that I'd work with her by reading to her a lot, which I did. Sure, if I could have afforded it, would II also wanted to buy her expensive tools to help her learn more, but I wasn't in a financial place to do so. I wasn't broke, but I couldn't go outside of my budget. Then, my job became more demanding - I worked at a famous music entertainment company. Sometimes, I just was too tired or came home too late to read to her. So, my mom ended up reading to her. Well, of course, that was better than no one reading to her. It really became more of an urgent matter for me to address her non-verbal problem much more when one day, my mom could not locate my daughter in my apartment. Aja had hidden in a clothes basket (don't worry, it had a removeable cover) and never moved, nor made a sound nor did she laugh even though my mom aid she practically yelled her name).  All the doors and windows were shut and locked. My mom finally found her after what seemed hours and when she did, Aja just smiled back as if she didn't know that it was an issue. My mom was visibly upset by the time I arrived home and told me what happened. I knew Aja loved to play Hide and Seek but Aja seemed to play that game fine. When we couldn't find her, we'd look for her and that was how we played.  Usually Aja would get too excited and she'd end up jumping out from wherever she was. This time, my mother had not prompted her to play the game, nor had Aja grabbed her hand and gesture that she wanted to play.  So, it really upset me that Aja didn't seem to be kind of emotionless about not making it known where she was.  After a while, after my mom was calmer, I just thought well, it's probably just a misunderstanding because I wasn't there.  I didn't quite understand because my place wasn't that large; I mean it was a nice-sized two bedroom but not huge. I decided to think on it and pray overnight.  It upset me more that evening that my sweet baby Aja didn't know the difference between when someone really needed you to answer by the inflection in one's voice and when they didn't. I noticed it myself previously but I never thought about Autism or Aspergers Syndrome. At that point, I knew I had to do something. My mom and I spoke about it and believed that Aja should have known that she was upset and it seemed Aja took it upon herself to play the game. This in retrospect, could have been the start to roaming, what autistics do and it's' very dangerous.  So, we tried to explain to her by showing through movements and putting my face in my hands to show that means "upset" or "crying" which is what grandma was headed towards doing. I reiterated how to show us when she wanted to play Hide and Seek by grabbing my hand or my mom's, then run and hide in her favorite spot.  Also, I told her we'd start playing at the park closeby but I wouldn't let her go far without my eyes on her at all times.  As this came naturally to me, being overprotective, Aja never was out of my sight.  If she started to wander, I had no idea because she was never given the opportunity. 

Anyway, to make a long story short, I came up with a game called Find and Speak which would hopefully teach Aja words to start to speak.  I know that children start to speak two letter sentenced at age two, but Aja wasn't even saying one letter words.  Since I didn't have a lot of money to go out and get fancy equipment, I decided to do an old-fashioned thing by putting stuff on the walls and leaving them like they did in schools with a bit of a twist to help her learn but have fun at the same time.  Here's what you'll need:

1) A camera (borrow one if you don't have your own)
2) Stick up alphabet letters (you can find them everywhere).
3) Pictures of horses, dogs, etc.  If you'd like, you can put up two-
    word sentences.  You may use pictures of favorite characters
    which help because the more familiar, the better they learn.
4) Place everything on the walls of the child's bedroom.  You can
    even put them in the hallway, dining room - wherever you want
    to put them is fine.
5) Place the alphabets somewhere seperate, like on the
    refrigerator.
6) Take a picture of the word sets, seperately.  (i.e.,- put Happy
    Birthday with a cake and candles set, etc.). 
7) Cut up cereal boxes and use characters from there as well as
    the letters.  That will save you time so you won't need to write
    them out yourself.
8) Use bulletin boards.  You can write on the board or you can pin
    items to the board.  You can also use velcro and tape.  Whatever
    you have around the home is fine.  Don't go to great expense, as
    the object here is to have fun and save money but teach them
    at the same time.
What to do:

Place everything on the walls.  Leave them up so when your child has nothing to do, they can look at them and learn them on their own. 

Take pictures of all the various word sets, whether they are one or two word set or alphabets.

Age appropriate always works best (one word for ages one and above; around age one and a half, they can start learning two word sentences. 

How to play:

When the child sits at the table to play, tell them that you are going to play a new game.  Raise their enthusiasm, look happy (even if you aren't - ha ha) and have a good time.  You'll end up having fun anyway.

Hide sets, beginning with one word sets first. You can play with alphabets first if you want.  C is for cat, A is for apple., etc.

Since we already had pictures up with the words, I took pictures of the word sets with a camera.  I also took the string and hung up the letters on the light fixtures.  Lay the pictures out on a table, starting out with only one which had been removed.  I said look up on the wall and show me which one was missing.  When the child can point out all the one's missing from the pictures laid out before her and place them in the correct places back up on the wall with a piece of tape, bulleting board, thumb tacks etc., as long as you are the one handling them.  Let the child know you will reward them if they get them right.  You wil reward them if they try.  The more they guess correctly by pointing them out on the table full of pictures, the better the reward.  If they go the one step further and place them on the wall or board, then that's a bigger reward. 

When you are playing this game, mouth and say these letters, words and picture sets as much as possible.  If you don't want to or are tired, get a tape recording that has their favorite DVD with snippets of the words you can tape from the DVD and make your own CD.  If you can find a CD/DVD that has the exact words, that would be even better.  Let them listen to it with headphone while you mouth the words to them.  Also, you can have the child listen to these to help them sleep at night.  They have racing thoughts and pictures in their heads - you'd find it hard to sleep  yourself.

Inform them if they make a sound, you will reward them. Don't begin with too many missing letters and or words/picture sets. As they get better, you will be able to remove the entire set of words and/or pictures . Tell them to choose which one's are missing by taking pictures of the sets and putting them in front of the child. Ask them to pick which sets are missing by pointing at them first. Tell them at some point you want them to speak. If they can start to say the words to the sets, perhaps mouth them and even open their mouth to say the words, you will give them a treat if the more progress they make.


They will need to speak. Reinforce that it's good to learn to speak words because people can understand them better. And vice-versa.
them all of you want to understand what they want and/or need.

The more they find at one sitting is another way to reward. At some point you will take away the pictures; they'll have to speak which one's are missing by recall. Try not to overwhelm. If you find that the child doesn't want to speak, that's okay.  As long as the child tries. That's all you want


them to do.

Other children can play to make it fun if you deem it okay. This is another way to reward because you are requesting that they socialize and get along with others.  Explain how being social is a good thing.  Talk to them in regular tones, not baby tones. Tell them the more they get along, the more fun it will be and the reward will be good for them.

Use lots of praise and hugs. If hugs aren't good, use what affection is comfortable between you and the child. My daughter loved it when I praised her! She still does. Creating a bond is very important.  They love bonding to someone.


3) Inform child that the more they speak and learn the words, the bigger the reward. Speak to them in very loving tones. Never speak to them harshly. Harshness and praise doesn't work in the Autistic's world. It highly confuses them and will make them cry.


4) Play this game as often as possible but not too much so they won't get bored or react badly to too much stimuli. Be sure that the environment is condusive for learning. Other children can join in. Let the other children in the household know that sometimes you will need to play the game with the one child alone. You will do this with them as well. I played with both of mine.


5) Remember I believe it's the repetition and visual aspect that helps.



One can switch this up even more if you tell them you are putting them in charge.  Tell them that they can remove the pictures/words and you guess the one's missing.  It'll make the game fun.


Remember, reading to your child at night reinforces the above so much. My ex-husband I read to our children at night and I believe it really helped them to be the articulate children they are today. There's nothing like reading to your child to me.






You can leave everything up if you would like. This way the child always see them and it's always on their mind. When they get bored, their eyes will just naturally move to the words. Not always do you have to play this game.






To be perfectly honest, I believe that this works because of the repetition and visual component that could make this a tool that could start your child to speak. Try this with your child or even have them try it at school. I am not a teacher either however, I've spoken with a couple who are friends and they say they like this idea. They as well as I, thinks it could help your child. I don't think it can hurt. I'm not actually sure if Aja used this but I do know Happy Birthday was one of the pictured sets that we had on the wall in her room. Sometimes I would let her listen to the words by her favorite animal at the time, Barney was one of them and a character from Land Before Time (I can't recall the animal). I did not know Aja had Aspergers, so there is no real evidence, aside the fact that she said the words that were on the wall and she showed me at home where she remembered it. I believe it's the best evidence I have. I also don't really know if without this she wouldn't have spoken. I do however, think that it will help in some way.


Jessika, I know you are out there, and that there is a person inside of that physical body who wants to speak and share with the world who and what she can be. I really sincerely help that this helps the Jessika's and the Jake's of the world, the many autistics who I knowhave so much to give. Here's to the mothers, fathers and caregivers who would just love for their child to say one word, to want to try. I hope it will help you give you some hope. I am not guaranteeing that this game will work as it's not proven that it does. I can only go by circumstantial evidence. But, perhaps you can help me with some concrete evidence that it works. If your child all of a sudden starts speaking and it's words from the sets, then I think we can say that's pretty good evidence, especially if your child is a diagnosed autistic. I am praying for all of you as I know this journey is a long one. Remember this, even if you don't see your reward here on earth, you will see it in Heaven. I truly believe that.






If you have any questions or concerns, just shoot me an e-mail at aboutbiziness@yahoo.com.










Thank you.






Gina Ann Huckaby







What I remembered may help your child be able to begin the

This is how the game works.






- Place letters in a seperate area so the child can learn letters first. Put them all over the home






- Place words with pictures that correspond with each one. When you begin with letters, use






words that correspond with each letter of the alphabet and put them.all over the child's room.






You can actually place anywhere you want. We did!






- Insure that the pictures don't have colors that can cause seizures (some yellows, etc.). You






may want to talk to the child's doctor or a doctor about this as I understand that some colors can can cause certain types of seizures in children and people with Autism.






- You can use picture's from a favorite movie like posters with two letter sentences.






- You can cut out words from a magazine and put them together to make the words. Whatever you do, use your imagination.






- Start off with age appropriate material. Age one, one word with pictures. Age two, children speak sentences, so two word sentences are okay, etc.






- Buy some item to reward the child with. Have them available so you won't have to go out and purchase them when the child does well. The better the child does, the better the reward.














Instructions on playing Find and Speak:


1) Hide certain letters and or/words along with their corresponding pictures..






2) Ask or prompt the child to try and speak the words and/or letters that are missing to you.






Inform them if they make a sound, you will reward them. Don't begin with too many missing letters and or words/picture sets. As they get better, you will be able to remove the entire set of words and/or pictures . Tell them to choose which one's are missing by taking pictures of the sets and putting them in front of the child. Ask them to pick which sets are missing by pointing at first. Tell them at some point you prefer them to talk like you do or try. Tell them they will be rewarded.  If they speak a word at anytime, you'll know what to do at some point.They will need to speak. Reinforce that it's good to learn to speak in order for mommy, daddy and others that love them to understand them. And vice-versa. Tell the child all of you want to understand what they want and/or need. The more they find at one
sitting is another way to reward. At some point you will take away the pictures; they'll have to speak which one's are missing by recall. Try not to overwhelm. If you find that you are
unable to remove the pictures, that's okay. As long as the child tries. That's all you want them to do. Other children can play to make it fun if you deem it okay. This is also a reward point by helping them to be social. Tell them the more they get along, the more fun it will be and the reward will be good for them. Use lots of praise and hugs. If hugs aren't good, use what affection is comfortable between you and the child. My daughter loved it when I praised her! She still does love it when I praise her. 






3) Inform child that the more they speak and learn the words, the
    bigger the reward. Speak to them in very loving tones. Never
    speak to them harshly. Harshness and praise doesn't work in the
   Autistic's world. It highly confuses them and will make them cry
4) Play this game as often as possible but not too much so they
    won't get bored or react badly too much stimuli. Be sure that \ 
    the evironment is condusive for learning. Other children can
    join in. Let the other children in the household know that
   sometimes you will need to play the game with the one child
   alone. You will do this with them as well. I played with both of   
   mine.




5) Remember I believe it's the repetition and visual aspect that helps.

6) The ultimate goal of the game is to get your child to try and
    speak.  The more they try, the more rewards.  The winner of this
    game at all times is the child. 




Remember, reading to your child at night reinforces the above so much. My ex-husband I read to our children at night and I believe it really helped them to be the articulate children they are today. There's nothing like reading to your child to me.




To be perfectly honest, I believe that this works because of the repetition and visual component that could make this a tool that could start your child to speak.  You could ask the child to write as well.  They will be rewarded the more different things you add to the "game".  Reading, writing, drawing...A good thing would be if your child's teacher will allow you to try this with children at school.  Tell them you'll bring them pizza if they help you work with your child and reward the kids in the classroom for being good sports.  I am not a teacher either however, I've spoken with a couple who are friends and they say they like this idea. They as well as I, thinks it could help your child. I don't think it can hurt. I'm not actually sure if Aja used this but I do know Happy Birthday was one of the pictured sets that we had on the wall in her room. Sometimes I would let her listen to the words by her favorite animal at the time, Barney was one of them and a character from Land Before Time (I can't recall the animal). I did not know Aja had Aspergers, so there is no real evidence, aside the fact that she said the words that were on the wall and she showed me at home where she remembered it. I believe it's the best evidence I have.  Would she have spoken without this, perhaps.  Because she did not have have the severe autism, more likely than not she would have spoken. 

Jessika, I know you are out there, and that there is a person inside of that physical body who wants to speak and share with the world who and what she can be. I really sincerely help that this helps the Jessika's of the world, the many autistics who I have so much to give. Here's to the mothers, fathers and caregivers who would just love for their child to say one word, to want to try, to make a gesture, a sound. I hope this will help to give you some hope. I am not guaranteeing that this game will work as it's not proven that it does. I can only go by circumstantial evidence. But, perhaps you can help me with some concrete evidence that it works. If your child all of a sudden starts speaking and it's words from the sets, then I think we can say that's pretty good evidence, especially if your child is a diagnosed autistic. My daughter spoke her first words which were Happy Birthday I believe from this game we played.  I can't think of how or where else she would have learned this. I'm praying for all of you as I know this journey is a long one. Remember this, even if you don't see your reward here on earth, you will see it in Heaven. I truly believe that. However, your reward is your child.  They are the gifts.  Believe me, their love is the purest I've ever encountered.  I hope you enjoy your child as much as I do mine.  Good luck and please keep me informed of any progress if any, that you make.   I sincerely hope you do


If you have any questions or concerns, just shoot me an e-mail at gina.huckaby@tweet4autism.com.

God bless to everyone.



Thank you.








Gina Ann Huckaby







Friday, June 18, 2010

Feeling Grateful Today

Hi, today is Friday, June 18, 2010.  I have one month to make a party happen.  This party involved all interested in Autism and helping those that have it.  Rather than changing them, let's help make it better for them by helping them to enhance their capabilities.  I believe that when we do this, we will have people that are less nervous , less anxious, less unsocial...I say this because I asked myself how I feel when I am doing what I want; when I'm happy, when I'm being helped with something that I love todo like writing or whatever.  The more support one has and feels, the better that they feel.  We are social creatures, Aspergers, Autism or not.  It doesn't matter.  I believe we all need some interaction with people.  Although Autistics can go a while without human interaction, I know many "normal" people who can be by themselves for hours, even days.  But, they always need someone in the end.  I've also found that they enjoy the companhy of people who are either of higher intelligence or who are older - because they are understood then.  And this is what my party is mainly about.  About my new business "Tweet4autism. 

Tweet4autism is a place where anything autism is found.. It's a national awareness campaign to help bring awarness to Autism and the people who have this "doability".  So interesting, I've found that they are.  I hate even saying "they".  I think I'm going to come up with something different.  I want to stop placing them in a different category than us.  So, for my new site, tweet4autism.com, we won't say anything about being different or mention us as being "normal".  I visualize this hug community of an Autism community where you can find stories, information, events, fundraisers, etc.  It's going to be a great place.  I am smiling as I sit here.  All I have to do is remember the picture of my guardian angel.  I know things will be okay.

My party, no rather our party because you will be there, too, will be on July 17, 2010 at the Los Angeles Sheraton Hotel.  I am having a pancake breakfast, a silent auction and a karoake party!  And then we can do whatever we want!  I want to meet and greet Autistics and others who'd like to advertise on Tweet4autism and others whom stories I'd like to feature on the site.  I will begin by featuring one fundraiser a month for free; and various stories as I can fit them in.  However, I want to mention each and every person who comes by the site one it's up and running.  This coming out party is a fundraiser to help me with the site, to help me with the idea!  Won't  you come out and help me realize my dream?  I need you all there.  The tickets are $35 each.  If you guys want, I can make special arrangements with the hotel for rooms.  I have to know within two weeks if you are coming; as I need to make the deposit on the room.  I have already ascertained the Twitter microblogging site and it's entitled appropriately "Tweet4autism!  There, we will tweet everyday constantly about Autism.  Autism news, people, places, things, stories, etc.  I am so excited, I coudl scream.  We also tweet during various television shows, as we did during #celebrityapprentice4autism (that's the name of the semi-successful hashtag).  We had a whole bunch of fun!  I want to have just as much fun with this!

If you need to contact me, please leave me a message at gina@labbx.com and I will send you the link in order to gather your tickets. This party is in conjunction with the Los Angeles Black Book Expo.  There is a seperate after party being held on Aug 21, 2010 which is for the Expo itself.  The Los Angeles Black Book Expo is Award Winning Linerary Event of the Year given by African Americans on the Move Book Club!  I am also invloved witht this event, so whether you'd like to come and join us for free during the day and enjoy the events, or you'd like to come to the after party on August 21, 2010 for their event (I'm the fundraiser for this event as well).  I will outline everything much better in the next day or so on a seperate post.  I know that the breakfast will start at 8:30am to 11:30am.  The auction and party times are TBA.  Please come out.  Also, I am going

Friday, June 11, 2010

My Guardian Angel to Share With You

Hey, you know, there are so many spiritual forces out there right now that are out to harm us, to get us down-to break our spirit. This past week has been very challenging to me and as soon as I get more information that I can and am able to get to you about our ordeal (yes, another in this whole autism world) as if we don't have enough to fight against. I didn't fight, because there was no use. Looks as if things will be fine, however; it was still causes great upheaval in my home.  I was very hurt, so was my daughter; however we are still blessed because everything  is leading in the right way! Vigilatism abounds, especially if you have a certin income.  However, always think that you are deserving of all good things.  When I looked at this picture, I knew that no matter what things will be good. And our dog almost died from eating chocolate!

This picture, during this past week of hell, has made me feel somewhat better. I hope that it makes you feel better to. Look at this picture carefully. You can see the angel and the cross that it bears, if you look from far away and smaller icon, like 65%. Some see Jesus, some a child still others see an angel.  Whatever the case may be I know it's a blessing because if you look at the photo next to it, I'm in the angelic picture!  It was totally by "accident" (nothing I believe is by accident) no, by the grace fro heaven and realizing that I have great protection as well as I will have what I need because God will grant it for me.  How could I not believe after this.  How did it happen, read on..

I was uploading a video to You Tube.  Well, You Tube shows you a thumbnail and when I looked at it after making the slidshow video (you can see it at MsGinaration on You Tube under "Amazing Grace").  And I was singing the song "Amazing Grace".  I was uploading it for my Twitter friends to gain inspiration.  For my Autistic friends, everyone.  I by the way, think that Autism isn't a disease. I believe that their brains have evolved and that they see things way differentlythan us.  But just because they see things differently and may not socially fit it (you'll fit it fine with them if you understand who they are and what they have to offer our world; that they aren't really different) doesn't mean that something is wrong with them.  Yes, we may need to teach them things like how to be more social however, they can teach us how to love unconditionally as well as the wonderful things they can teach you!  Oh, how their brilliancy is so refreshing and their humor! I find that I have learned so much from those with autism, I wouldn't ever want them to change. Anyway, when I finished uploading it, if was only after the dog almost died and the other dreadful event occurred that I spoke of, that I came back to the video and realized that this had occurred; I was dumbfounded.  Why had I not seen that before!  I was in awe and truly amazed.  It was at that point that I know not to ever worry about anything.  I know that I will, because that's just me; however I also know that I will be looking at  I really hope it brings you inspiration.  I now know that I will be able to remember this and know that angels do exist.  I hope that you look at it and say the same.  I believe in everything good.  I want you to think this way, too.  Let's all think this was and see what happens.  Tell me your stories.  I now know that the party that I'm planning on July 12, 2010, will have a great turn out.  I'm coming out!  I'm having a coming out party for my new website, new business "Tweet4autism.  I will tell you abou tit in my next blog! 

This picture is for anyone and everyone.  I hope you see the outline of the second picture in the first angelic one.  It's me!  I am amazed.  If you don't see it, let me know.  Send me an e-mail at gina@labbx.com.

Take care. It's my guardian angel to share with you.  We all have one. The forces that be just reminded me. They want me to remind you! Thank you, great heaven above, for your generosity. I'm grateful, forever!




#ff TO ALL! I have a Guardian Angel, I hope  you get amazing ... on Twitpic                    

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Loving The Mess Out of Life Continued

I am an advocate for children, for parents, people..a pioneer,a rebel (single) mama with causes; there's so much I believe in "fighting" for. My daugher has Asperger's Syndrome, was bullied most of her childhood because of it. I only utilize positivity because I've learned fighting too hard doesn't work. People say my patience is that of Job. Hmmm, wonder where that came from? I'm building an online affiliate marketing presence to give proceeds to Autism. I tweet for autism. Celebrity Apprentice, now Parenthood. I worked 25 years in the music industry doing copyright law but was then in a debilitating car accident,on the mend (praying) now I am administrator/fundraiser for The Los Angeles Black Book Expo, raising funds for autism and literacy because it's with education that we learn about life. Getting past 9 years of OMG's,sleepless nights,stress..etc. I want to tell you our story of how I believe the autism's in "remission". The book, aptly entitled, How I LOVED the MESS out of Aspergers will be self-published. Some things haven't changed, no. Pacing, talking out loud. Anxiousness. Speech issues. Her intelligence has "taught" her to control, She is a walking miracle and I'd like to share with you how I got there. Not cured, just better. I'm just saying give faith and love a shot; something has to move. It did in my family. I just hope to help another. You can e-mail me at gina@labbxcom.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Open Letter to Help Bret Michaels Get Better

Nothing to Lose (Featuring Miley Cyrus)
                                                                                                   Dearest Bret,


My deepest heartfelt wishes for your speedy recovery; I know you are a winner, a fighter – jeez, anyone that can walk away from a brain hemorrhage and live to tell about it, is amazing and God will continue to bless you because you want to live and He knows that you will help so many people with the work you are doing. He ain't done with you yet. Both grandma's have it, one just passed recently :( , and two aunts, now possibly my uncle. I hardly have any family left. However, with all my tragedy, it only makes me want to help more, so I couldn’t help but wish there was something I could do, especially after seeing you cry on television about your situation. I know the feeling. I have a daughter with Asperger’s Syndrome as well, a son with asthma (actually they both have what's called allergic rhinitis, too and my son got meningitis at twelve) and so when I say I feel your pain, it's true. I'm not just saying it. We just don’t’ want our kids to have to deal with a “doability”. See, I try at every turn to turn the negative to a positive. That’s why I’m writing. I believe I know of something that can help your pain. It helped mine.


A while back, I was run over by my own car (’05) and dragged 45 feet down an incline (no, don’t ask, just call me Lucy like everyone else does, it would only happen to me) and the pain, oh, the pain. Not funny, by any means. I am left now with severe spine trauma.  And everything was and remains swollen; knees, my back, my hands some days - anyway, I couldn’t afford to be laid up every day on pain pills and trying to take care of my daughter with Asperger’s whom I was trying to help her life, and both children have asthma and allergic rhinitis, bedwetted for years, got the flu every Thanksgiving and Christmas, oh my life.. So, how could I be sick, and at the same time be a single mom? No way. And keep fighting the good fight. Somehow I came across a product that would help me to be able to at least get out of the bed. To cook. To start to do some to the things that moms do. I couldn’t let them down. Nopolea at trivita.com. I tried it. Six ounces in the am and six in the pm. the dosage for someone who has pain like you and I did still do. All I can say is that it helped, A LoT! All I can say is that there is nothing in it that will hurt you, it’s all natural. And it may help with your diabetes because that has to do with inflammation as do most of our diseases. I know you must be thinking, this woman is crazy, I'm really not. I know of a way that could help you with your pain, as it's helped lots of others as well as raising money to help Autism. If that makes me crazy, then so be it. I believe that I want to open schools around the country for children with Autism and/or other related issues because there are none. I just thought of it last night. I also am trying to raise awareness, stop bullying and attacks (my daughter was attacked by a 2nd grader when he put his hand over baby girl with Asperger's mouth in an attempt to "shut her up" he said because she was crying and pleading with him to stop. Can you believe it. And a few days later, he brought a knife to school; the teacher found it in his backpack. Read my story at http://www.ginaration.blogspot.com (blog under bullying written May 03, 2010.


Rather than go through all the selling it to you and crap like that, go the site, you’re a smart man, make your own judgment. Research it. Look up the Nopolea plant. You’ll be intrigued. Look at all the folks it’s helped. Testimonials for days. I just know that you are I not tremendous pain and this helped me a two days! I hope it’ll do the same for you. Below is some info you'll need in order to obtain your bottle of Nopolea.

Website:   http://www.trivita.com/
My ID#:    13361921 
My name: Gina Ann Huckaby


God bless you, Bret. We all are looking forward to just like Speedy Gonzalez, a real quick recovery! I hear you went home from the hospital "prison" today, but this was a good visit, and trust me, I'm sure you're grateful, your family and trust me, your fans are very grateful that the hospital and doctors did what they did for you. Sometimes, I jokingly call it that because I've been there so many times with my heart arrythmia that I've had since 1996. I'd rather be at home any day. I know you were sayin', get me outta here, with a quickness! Haha, I'm glad for you! You'll be fine now. Thank God, again! We love you Bret, we know the Lord has much more work for you and perhaps it was it me for you to stay home and spend some time with your daughter God works in mysterious ways. We are all very grateful. We'll be shouting out to you on my hashtag that I made up called #celebrityapprentice4autism. My daughter and I watch tv on Sundays and I came up with this corny idea, hey why not watch Celebrity Apprentice since Holly is on the show about Autism. She said let's get out the popcorn and then the idea to live tweet about the show, facts on Autism and follow Holly. I can't believe that it has grown bigger than I even imagined and I didn't do it for no other reason except to tweet about April being Autism Awareness Month. Not that we arent' following you, we're following it all because our lives have been affected by all that you represent, including Cyndi Lauper (my brother passed away in 2000 from complications of Aids). So, see when I say that I feel your pain, I not only feel the pain of people's cry for help mentally but physically as well. Again, God bless. Hope to see you visit us on our hashtag, too!


Take care!






Gina Ann Huckaby

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