Forgive To Live - Let's Love the Hurt of of the Bully or Whoever's Hurting

The Salt n' Sweet of Autism - A Life Changed to Inspire



Circle of Unity (The Salt and the Sweet)



Autism is salt and sweet, like my favorite kettle corn, popcorn. And yes it's (Autism’s) pain I've tasted but oh, I commit to it's sweetness that seduces me to remain true, more to it’s sweetness and to its salt, I owe my lessons learned and made better for it. It's to this cause and my daughter, Aja, that I owe my loyalty. Never will I halt my quest to create a Circle of Unity for Autism. I know with God, the final battle will be won with love, Unity and positivity. So let me give of my time, my life’s lessons learned in servitude as I feel I am being guided, never will I leave those that have and will have confided. So to my new friends and older ones know I am true to the salt and the sweet of Autism, it is to this I am tried, true and ready to do what I can for the future of man and woman. So will you join me, in making a Circle of Unity because it’s not just for me it’s for the sweet and salt of Autism and the future of our children, so please walk with me. Walk with me, so we can create a Circle of Unity, Open to you and me and creating great friendships along the way. Come what may, we will find a cause, and if there’s a cure to be found, let us not forget, there’s a will there's a way.





Ginaration © and Tweet4autism ©


FORGIVE AND LOVE TO LIVE

FORGIVE AND LOVE TO LIVE You know, while I have been on this journey of re-learning, so to speak, I have found that somehow, the answers that one seeks, come along as they may, at their own will, rather if i must say, at the Universe's will. The main lesson that I can write to you is that one must remember to be quiet enough to hear the answer when it does come. Either way, fighting and struggling to get the answers most often isn't the best way. Being still usually is. I am not saying give up but rather wait in a way that is known that you need answers, but step back and humbly seek them, with you passion kindling beneath the surface (so that you don't miss something either way). I guess I'm trying to say while being quiet, you can still be vigilant. The key is to stay calm while doing so. The answers you seek will come at the darnedest of times and it's especially true what they say, answers come when they are least expected, when you are in a state of clear minded focus, but not placing too much pressure on what it is you are seeking. During this period of yes, you may be filled with sheer plain human anxieties and stress-not wanting to wait, again be still. Most of the time, I have found, they come from those who really love and care for you. I just needed to take the time to listen, be still and figure out where to find the answers. This time, it was my daughter, again. I have been having the hardest trouble with figuring out how to approach http://www.tweet4autism.com/. I always seemed to come up with these grandiose ideas, even one with a trip to Las Vegas for ten winners! Crazy and too much. Like if I could, how would I have enough staff to handle such a venture! Where I used to work in the entertainment industry (for almost thirty years), the task would have been was easier - I don't work there or anywhere, anymore. That's another story. Funny, by being still, I'm also finding that my writing and creative talents are coming back, part of the of the dreams I had in childhood - one was to be a writer. Anyway, back to the subect at hand, I'm only one person, trying to figure out my message across or several messages (with me, ideas come in droves) but I really just needed less confusion and one basic message that would tell people that I'm on a journey but this one was about advocating for my daughter withing this journey for myself, rekindling my spirit as well. I believe the answers were there, already waiting on me but like I said, I wasn't being still and although my guide is walking in love, to a certain extent (and here comes the honesty), I was thinking that I could do everthing, quickly. I think it's just we'd been through so much as well, that I sometimes got confused as well as even angry at times remembering the things that we done to my family. It made me lose time. Time lost can energy gained to catch up and try to do what you can with the love inside and the skills and knowledge gained along the way. I knew I wanted things to change for others and I want people to learn from what my family had been through. I'll get into that later. For now, my view of autism and bullying, in a world filled with others that are fighting to do the get their messages across, I wanted to get a good message that was as sincere and honest as one could be. I wanted to encompass that yes, while I am seeking being true to me which I have learned it will make me a better me, I also wanted to be that mom, that activist and advocate (justice for all). I had been sending my ideas to various people and I hope they don't think I'm crazy, because I am (not) with all of the over-the-top, over-cooked and not well thought out ideas until one day I just said, I'm tired. In as much as I want to make sure my legacy is clear, I was exhausted. Finally, I had to breathe. I did and sure enough, the answer came running up the stairs one day in the form of this beautiful person, my daughter. Yes, a few weeks ago, my daughter comes running up the stairs saying, mom, I hope you are sitting down, if not, you need to. I was all excited to hear her news and it was big. She said, mom, I saw so and so, the girl who bullied me in the sixth grade. In my prior story, I spoke of the girl who bullied my daughter or who was the main bully in her sixth grade graduating year. She said, but guess what mom, the girl said my name isn't let's call her L., she said her name is Rebecca and this Rebecca person said she didn't bully Aja (my daughter) but that she was her couisin. Aja, who doesn't forget a face, especially not the girl who'd bullied her for an entire year and brought along most of the sixth grade with her while she did her reign of terrorizing, couldn't believe that it wasn't L, the bully. Aja told me she told Rebecca who we will find out a week later that she really was her bully(really L). about the story of how her life was made into a living daily nightmare. Well, "Rebecca" really the bully, listened to Aja's story intently and my daughter said that Rebecca went to all of her friends standing nearby and told them the story. Aja walked away but since she also has a pair of the most fantastic ears ever (I think she can hear as well as Rocket, our dog). Aja told of how scared she was inside, how she cried many nights and how she wished that she didn't have to go to school with her. She said thankfully, my mom took me out of school and I spent the entire rest of the semester with my mom at home. Anyway, Aja said she could of sworn it was her bully, L but she said oh well, I guess it was her cousin, and we both were tired so we went to sleep. However, in the back of my mind, I wanted to call her school, where this meeting took place. I also wondered what in the world my daughter's bully would be going to the same school as Aja. It slipped my mind and I guess that's the way the Universe wanted it. At the time, my daughter said she really hoped it was L. Her heart was beating so hard, she said but she also said, she wasn't scared this time. She said if it had been L,her bully, she would have been the same, passionate way. I told her don't worry honey, I'm right here and I hugged her and she said she was fine. I was going to call the school the next day, but like I said the all in due time... A week later, Aja comes bounding up the stairs again as if I were seeing a re-run of the week before. She makes me laugh when she does this because it's like my seventeen year old back in third grade. I can hear and literally feel the joy in her voice because she's trying to talk so fast and run at the same time that the words barely come out! I feel so much love (yeah, I know, it's a mom thing) - okay, moving right along here. This time though, she said she was much more animated, much more excited. I said Aja, what's going on and she proceeded to tell me that that the girl that she said was her bully, actually was! The girl who said she was Rebecca lied. The supposed "cousin" was really L, the bully! I almost choked on the soda I was drinking! Aja just believed her because her hair was changed and she hadn't seen her in years, aside being in her nightmares. At school that day, L, "cousin Rebecca" really her bully, L. asked to see Aja. She pulled her to the side and told her that she felt so bad, she said that what she did her was the stupidest thing she ever did. L began to cry and Aja couldn't think of anything to do but to reach out and hug her. It's very interesting this time because Aja was not the least bit scared. She had been, but not anymore. Perhpas my daughter's gained education, self-esteem and teaching about forgiveness and love at home had paid off. I inquired, "Aja, you didn't ask her why she picked on you?" She said no mom, I don't care anymore. Aja said, mom, I forgave her and told her okay, so now that this is finally over, can we be friends? Aja told me that L looked at her face and since she stopped crying, she thought that that question was appropriate. I cried because I knew that Aja was on her way to being healed and she is growing up when she said those words. I think my hand was shaking by the time she finished. I'm telling you, the tears were welling up in my eyes. I'm such a cry baby! You see, Aja, being autistic, is beginning to recognize the little nuances that say I get the social cues that are so hard sometimes for autistics to comprehend/understand as we say "neaurotypicals" do. Autistics have a harder time with things "emotions" like what to do next if someone is crying like her bully was and reading the expression on her face. And rather than just understanding, she is "feeling" the feelings that others feel. She said, mom, I felt bad for her but at the same time, I felt myself get all warm inside. I just felt like I needed to hug her. This was so huge! Aja had just turned seventeen this month as well. I'm ecstatic. Not a few months prior, her social worker said, she has the mind of an eight year old. I couldn't believe she said that! I knew she was wrong and so did everyone else. That social worker is no longer at the school anyway because the school requested her not to be there, I found out later. There's a back story to this, I'll explain later. We need better social workers and I knew that Aja was way ahead of what that comment said of her. Guess that's one reason why she no longer works at the school. They felt the same way. Not only has Aja made one friend, she'd made two and also felt and could articulate feelings, not just acting things out. Yes, she felt awkward, but she also knew instinctively what to do. This tells me that my Aja is not only growing up but my one on one teaching is paying off. Aja made a friend the during the first week of February, during her birthday month and then she forgave an enemy, and made a new friend as well. I am in awe of her! I learned so many lessons these past few weeks. First, that spending the time with my daughter has paid off in ways that only a mother with a daughter who has autism or another "doability" could understand. She has begun to see and "feel" things although I knew she could always feel things, she couldn't articulate them. She can now. She can also "see" what feelings mean to others, which is a difficult nuance of social behaviour for an autistic person to act out and/or speak of. After seven years of my daughter always speakingg of "being scared" to see her bully if she ever saw her, she wasn't. Aja also said she said she never wanted to see L in her life again. However, I taught my daughter what forgiveness means as well as what a 'gut' feeling feels like. Actually, I believe she has seen me forgive so many times and then talk about it, that she is grasping it. One can not teach a child without actually doing that action or seeing the action take place, so imagine how hard it must be for a person that has autism to grasp "feelings". Another lesson, actions speak volumes louder than words! I also talk about love because I tell her daily that I love her. I do not forget. I believe that day that the day that she spoke to her bully, both love and forgiveness were present. Needless to say, I'm grateful that she is growing up and that I am not as afraid to leave her an aisle away in the grocery store. I'm not scared to leave a couple of aisles because it's clear to me that she has listened to what I have always taught her. She's almost eighteen. College is around the corner! When she's away from me, I tell her to listen to what her gut tells her. I told her her heart is her gut. If the feelings she feels are not good for someone, walk away. Or keep her distance. If she can't "read" them, be cautious. If she gets a good feeling, still be cautious but cautiously optimistic and watchful. If it's clear cut danger, like the time we were over a friends home having Thanksgiving Dinner and a man walked in and immediately the hairs on the back of my neck rose. As quickly as I felt those feelings, apparently so did Aja. She came quickly to me (this was around age twelve) and said to me, mom, I felt as if that man was going to eat me (meaning hurt her - back then her speech was much more animated, she spoke to me many times in terms of how animals would if they could speak to their children). It's clear that the things that she is being taught is paying off and it was then, too. I am grateful to life lessons teaching me the things I've learned. Hard earned but not unrewarded. Being a single parent, being alone a lot has taught me to be self reliant and not always being able to pick up the phone and call a friend. So, I call upon my higher power. It has paid off in more ways than one. Always listen to that still place in your heart, it doesn't matter what you're doing. So, I hope this helps you. I know this helped me. My head is now not in the clouds. My dreams are, though. I will always be a dreamer. A thinker. A creator. I'm made in the likeness of all that surrounds me. I'm like you and you are like me. We are human and are capable to so much. And so by my daughter forgiving her bully, I am not directed to say that bullying can only be fully cured by love. It's how you forgive yourself for being angry at the bully and the bully being angry at you! The earlier you do this, the earlier the bully can possibly go on and be a cooperative member of society. I wonder how long that Aja's bully felt shameful. Guilty. That time could have been saved had perhaps me or someone else come along earlier and said, hey, are you okay? I recall that I did try that once (I asked the father could I speak to his daughter and he did give me permission, however, when I said that in a meeting, he siad he didn't give me that permission). I grew up with the father of the daughter that bullied my Aja Face). Anyway, that's over now. We are on our way to being healed and I have my answer on how to to move forward in my journey to keep my promises. And by the way, now I know what tweet4autism.com and tweet4autism's message will be. It will begin with trying to educate others on the power of forgiveness. This message will be my platform when it comes to this particular cause. I know my direction now. Yes, perhaps you can teach your bully about love. Before it gets to far, talk to your parents (if your are someone younger reading this) but parents and caregivers, try to forgive your child's bully. And the parent and others who are against against you (in my case, they really were). Ask them to see about helping the person that is doing the bullying. Seek out ally's to intevene who this child is doing this to in order to be able to intervene sooner. Be observant, but still. If you are person being bullied, you have to reach out to someone to help you. I know it's scary. But be strong and the Universe will help you do the rest. You can't do anything alone, really. Well, anything that that hs to do with a bully. You need help. We as a community needs to help the bully so we can help to hydrate their souls to become and be who they wish to be and not be hampered by evilness and having poor self-esteem because they feel if they don't go along with the other bullies, they will be bullied. One is strong if they can stand against the tide and hold firm without the weight of the water knockign them down. However, you need the power of love and the help of others to make this possible. It could be that the bully is hurting worse than the one he or she is hurting. I want our message to be about loving thy neighbor. Of course, if you see that the bully is beyond help, that's a different story (like the one who tried to assault my daughter by smothering her in the second grade). But, if there is one you see that can be helped, perhaps it's up to the parents and their children to surround that bully with love (as well as the teachers and other people that are supposed to help "love the hate" out of the bully. That's our message. That's Ginaration's message. It always has been and now, it's morphed itself to my daughter. Do you think it's possible that it will morph to others as well? I'm counting on it. And remember, the bully could be the parents. Where do you think the bully could be learning their behaviour? It could just be possible it's the from their home. It's quite possible because the parents bullied me of the child who bullied Aja. Sad but true. The major lesson in all of this is that like I said, I learned even more so to remember to be still and remember that love is my guide, always. I want my message to be clear, I also want others to know how I arrived there. Now I know that my message will be to forgive to live. It's in the forgiving of others, that we let go and learn to live. We let go of the anger, the fear, of everything that holds us back from realizing our dreams. one of my dreams is to change the world of autism, for others to begin to see them for the true beautiful beings that they are. The wonderful gifts they have to give, just like everyone else. We live in this world with a big, beautiful planet and there's room in it for lots of people! There's enough room for many people to live on this planet with us, together, in peace. If we want to call them different, we should look at ourselves. We all have differences, it doesn't mean that we can't give to society. You know, the bully and the autistic can kind of be the same. People look at them as being a certain way, both of them. But if you uncover what is really lurking underneath, you just may uncover that the person needs love just like we all do. And by giving that back to them, it may just change their world. That is what tweet4autism is all about. We want to get the message out to forgive the bully. Look at the autistic with eyes of love. You may be surprised what you may see. I personally, have seen so much love in one child, that things will never be the same (for the better). If she's different, so what. It's okay. She gives me more love than anyone else ever has and it's unconditional. You'd be blessed to uncover the same in another person. Perhaps you'd find that in a bully. Also, the parent of the bully should start to really listen and begin to listen to their child. I think they need an extra dose or doses of love. A person who loves you regardless of the bad or good is just what they may need. So come on in my life as it's never without some drama. Learn with me, grow with me, trust in me. Keep reading and you will see me. And how I want to fulfill a lifetime's worth of dreams that I thought we long forgotten. SponsoredTweets referral badge

TWEET4AUTISM and MY DAUGHTER

FORTHCOMING

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Find and Speak (A Possible Speaking Game)

Addendum to previous post written 11/26/10




Yes, goodmorning Mr. Sun, as you quietly go about waking up the souls that you need to in order for your work to be done.  You played peek-a-boo with me, and even in spite of the blinds being closed, you shined  your light on me and so many others who are writers at their core, so the work that is at hand can be done with the writers hand. It is not a chore. I am the vessel and I gladly do this to hopefully bring some news that will help families who go through the struggles with autism.  Today, I will write so that they can obtain information that just may help someone who has this doability to be inspired to speak.  It is my hope, it is my dream.  And I'm reminded those dreams come from the higher power that gives them to me!  So, I hope today that a mother, a father, a caregiver will take this advice and at least give it a try.  One never knows what good can occur when the work is coming from a spiritually good place. 

Is it not funny how a story or a set of events can "tweak" your brain into remembering something that can be of importance to another? This is just what happened to me.  I was reading a story about a young girl named Jessika, who is ten years old.  Her mother is quite worried and has been for a while because she can't speak or does so minimally.  She doesn;t sleep either.  However, she is getting some nutritional help from @adea4life (I don't know if it has directly attributed to her getting better but, you can research for yourself as I can't endorse until I know it works for myself - Mr. Huntington however, is responsible for bringing this story to me for which I'm quite thankful on Twitter). It's not the only time I've been moved to want to help someone .  However, at this moment in time, my memory was "tweaked" (like the battery charger used to charge your car battery, your brain can be "jump started") into recalling something that may help others, in this case, it's the Jessika's and their families in the world who have autism who can't speak.    Meaning, why had I not recalled this information before?  I don't know.  But, I'm a firm believer that everything happens in the exact moment it's supposed to and you are where you are at that very moment to either be receptive to a higher forces that give one direction. Everything happens at the time its supposed to.


There isn't any expensive equipment needed.  What I remembered may help your child be able to begin the journey to speak, as the game is fun and doesn't require expensive tools or equipment. A lot of parents are unable to afford these types of materials, so this may help some. If I'm able to help one person, so be it. And let me be clear, I am in no way stating that this a guarantee that will lead you child to speak, as I only have circumstantial evidence at this time. However, I urge you who are having problems with your child speaking to at least give it a try as it can't hurt. And below please read about why it is we started this game with my beautiful now teenager. 


Before Aja was two, she barely spoke. She gestured, smiled and pointed a lot. She did attempt to speak, like she tried to make the sounds to letters but she was having a really hard time. She cried a lot, too, I thought she was colicky, so the doctor put her on a soy bean formula, which seemed to help. A lot of times, because she didn't sleep well, I would put her in the car and ride around the block and off to sleep she'd go. I then noticed that she didn't sleep as well as my son, who if you gave him a bottle, he would sleep the entire night. Also, he spoke full sentences two-word sentences by a year and a half, whereas she didn't say her very first words until the age of two. Those words were "Happy Birthday". We were stunned. She said them as we walked into the big room where there was a banner that read those words at a birthday party. I remember it as if it were yesterday, as clear in my mind as if it were today. I'll never forget it. It is my belief that she remembered those words because we played a game called Find and Speak because she liked Hide and Seek so much.  The game included the words "Happy Birthday" as well as she listened and watched Barney a lot who always said Happy Birtday.  Let me explain what led us to do this, (I say we because my mother lived with me in my apartment at the time).

During the time Aja didn't speak, the entire time, we thought that she should have been speaking earlier. She kind of mumbled, pointed and smiled. She always looked at me, very intently. Anyway, I told the doctor all of the above, how she didn't talk, how she seemed to "stare" at me a lot, how she cried, but her doctor stated she'd be fine. I subsequently did a little research and found out that at age two, she should be speaking full two-word sentences; and before that she should have been saying words, like my son did. I figured that I'd work with her by reading to her a lot, which I did. Sure, if I could have afforded it, would II also wanted to buy her expensive tools to help her learn more, but I wasn't in a financial place to do so. I wasn't broke, but I couldn't go outside of my budget. Then, my job became more demanding - I worked at a famous music entertainment company. Sometimes, I just was too tired or came home too late to read to her. So, my mom ended up reading to her. Well, of course, that was better than no one reading to her. It really became more of an urgent matter for me to address her non-verbal problem much more when one day, my mom could not locate my daughter in my apartment. Aja had hidden in a clothes basket (don't worry, it had a removeable cover) and never moved, nor made a sound nor did she laugh even though my mom aid she practically yelled her name).  All the doors and windows were shut and locked. My mom finally found her after what seemed hours and when she did, Aja just smiled back as if she didn't know that it was an issue. My mom was visibly upset by the time I arrived home and told me what happened. I knew Aja loved to play Hide and Seek but Aja seemed to play that game fine. When we couldn't find her, we'd look for her and that was how we played.  Usually Aja would get too excited and she'd end up jumping out from wherever she was. This time, my mother had not prompted her to play the game, nor had Aja grabbed her hand and gesture that she wanted to play.  So, it really upset me that Aja didn't seem to be kind of emotionless about not making it known where she was.  After a while, after my mom was calmer, I just thought well, it's probably just a misunderstanding because I wasn't there.  I didn't quite understand because my place wasn't that large; I mean it was a nice-sized two bedroom but not huge. I decided to think on it and pray overnight.  It upset me more that evening that my sweet baby Aja didn't know the difference between when someone really needed you to answer by the inflection in one's voice and when they didn't. I noticed it myself previously but I never thought about Autism or Aspergers Syndrome. At that point, I knew I had to do something. My mom and I spoke about it and believed that Aja should have known that she was upset and it seemed Aja took it upon herself to play the game. This in retrospect, could have been the start to roaming, what autistics do and it's' very dangerous.  So, we tried to explain to her by showing through movements and putting my face in my hands to show that means "upset" or "crying" which is what grandma was headed towards doing. I reiterated how to show us when she wanted to play Hide and Seek by grabbing my hand or my mom's, then run and hide in her favorite spot.  Also, I told her we'd start playing at the park closeby but I wouldn't let her go far without my eyes on her at all times.  As this came naturally to me, being overprotective, Aja never was out of my sight.  If she started to wander, I had no idea because she was never given the opportunity. 

Anyway, to make a long story short, I came up with a game called Find and Speak which would hopefully teach Aja words to start to speak.  I know that children start to speak two letter sentenced at age two, but Aja wasn't even saying one letter words.  Since I didn't have a lot of money to go out and get fancy equipment, I decided to do an old-fashioned thing by putting stuff on the walls and leaving them like they did in schools with a bit of a twist to help her learn but have fun at the same time.  Here's what you'll need:

1) A camera (borrow one if you don't have your own)
2) Stick up alphabet letters (you can find them everywhere).
3) Pictures of horses, dogs, etc.  If you'd like, you can put up two-
    word sentences.  You may use pictures of favorite characters
    which help because the more familiar, the better they learn.
4) Place everything on the walls of the child's bedroom.  You can
    even put them in the hallway, dining room - wherever you want
    to put them is fine.
5) Place the alphabets somewhere seperate, like on the
    refrigerator.
6) Take a picture of the word sets, seperately.  (i.e.,- put Happy
    Birthday with a cake and candles set, etc.). 
7) Cut up cereal boxes and use characters from there as well as
    the letters.  That will save you time so you won't need to write
    them out yourself.
8) Use bulletin boards.  You can write on the board or you can pin
    items to the board.  You can also use velcro and tape.  Whatever
    you have around the home is fine.  Don't go to great expense, as
    the object here is to have fun and save money but teach them
    at the same time.
What to do:

Place everything on the walls.  Leave them up so when your child has nothing to do, they can look at them and learn them on their own. 

Take pictures of all the various word sets, whether they are one or two word set or alphabets.

Age appropriate always works best (one word for ages one and above; around age one and a half, they can start learning two word sentences. 

How to play:

When the child sits at the table to play, tell them that you are going to play a new game.  Raise their enthusiasm, look happy (even if you aren't - ha ha) and have a good time.  You'll end up having fun anyway.

Hide sets, beginning with one word sets first. You can play with alphabets first if you want.  C is for cat, A is for apple., etc.

Since we already had pictures up with the words, I took pictures of the word sets with a camera.  I also took the string and hung up the letters on the light fixtures.  Lay the pictures out on a table, starting out with only one which had been removed.  I said look up on the wall and show me which one was missing.  When the child can point out all the one's missing from the pictures laid out before her and place them in the correct places back up on the wall with a piece of tape, bulleting board, thumb tacks etc., as long as you are the one handling them.  Let the child know you will reward them if they get them right.  You wil reward them if they try.  The more they guess correctly by pointing them out on the table full of pictures, the better the reward.  If they go the one step further and place them on the wall or board, then that's a bigger reward. 

When you are playing this game, mouth and say these letters, words and picture sets as much as possible.  If you don't want to or are tired, get a tape recording that has their favorite DVD with snippets of the words you can tape from the DVD and make your own CD.  If you can find a CD/DVD that has the exact words, that would be even better.  Let them listen to it with headphone while you mouth the words to them.  Also, you can have the child listen to these to help them sleep at night.  They have racing thoughts and pictures in their heads - you'd find it hard to sleep  yourself.

Inform them if they make a sound, you will reward them. Don't begin with too many missing letters and or words/picture sets. As they get better, you will be able to remove the entire set of words and/or pictures . Tell them to choose which one's are missing by taking pictures of the sets and putting them in front of the child. Ask them to pick which sets are missing by pointing at them first. Tell them at some point you want them to speak. If they can start to say the words to the sets, perhaps mouth them and even open their mouth to say the words, you will give them a treat if the more progress they make.


They will need to speak. Reinforce that it's good to learn to speak words because people can understand them better. And vice-versa.
them all of you want to understand what they want and/or need.

The more they find at one sitting is another way to reward. At some point you will take away the pictures; they'll have to speak which one's are missing by recall. Try not to overwhelm. If you find that the child doesn't want to speak, that's okay.  As long as the child tries. That's all you want


them to do.

Other children can play to make it fun if you deem it okay. This is another way to reward because you are requesting that they socialize and get along with others.  Explain how being social is a good thing.  Talk to them in regular tones, not baby tones. Tell them the more they get along, the more fun it will be and the reward will be good for them.

Use lots of praise and hugs. If hugs aren't good, use what affection is comfortable between you and the child. My daughter loved it when I praised her! She still does. Creating a bond is very important.  They love bonding to someone.


3) Inform child that the more they speak and learn the words, the bigger the reward. Speak to them in very loving tones. Never speak to them harshly. Harshness and praise doesn't work in the Autistic's world. It highly confuses them and will make them cry.


4) Play this game as often as possible but not too much so they won't get bored or react badly to too much stimuli. Be sure that the environment is condusive for learning. Other children can join in. Let the other children in the household know that sometimes you will need to play the game with the one child alone. You will do this with them as well. I played with both of mine.


5) Remember I believe it's the repetition and visual aspect that helps.



One can switch this up even more if you tell them you are putting them in charge.  Tell them that they can remove the pictures/words and you guess the one's missing.  It'll make the game fun.


Remember, reading to your child at night reinforces the above so much. My ex-husband I read to our children at night and I believe it really helped them to be the articulate children they are today. There's nothing like reading to your child to me.






You can leave everything up if you would like. This way the child always see them and it's always on their mind. When they get bored, their eyes will just naturally move to the words. Not always do you have to play this game.






To be perfectly honest, I believe that this works because of the repetition and visual component that could make this a tool that could start your child to speak. Try this with your child or even have them try it at school. I am not a teacher either however, I've spoken with a couple who are friends and they say they like this idea. They as well as I, thinks it could help your child. I don't think it can hurt. I'm not actually sure if Aja used this but I do know Happy Birthday was one of the pictured sets that we had on the wall in her room. Sometimes I would let her listen to the words by her favorite animal at the time, Barney was one of them and a character from Land Before Time (I can't recall the animal). I did not know Aja had Aspergers, so there is no real evidence, aside the fact that she said the words that were on the wall and she showed me at home where she remembered it. I believe it's the best evidence I have. I also don't really know if without this she wouldn't have spoken. I do however, think that it will help in some way.


Jessika, I know you are out there, and that there is a person inside of that physical body who wants to speak and share with the world who and what she can be. I really sincerely help that this helps the Jessika's and the Jake's of the world, the many autistics who I knowhave so much to give. Here's to the mothers, fathers and caregivers who would just love for their child to say one word, to want to try. I hope it will help you give you some hope. I am not guaranteeing that this game will work as it's not proven that it does. I can only go by circumstantial evidence. But, perhaps you can help me with some concrete evidence that it works. If your child all of a sudden starts speaking and it's words from the sets, then I think we can say that's pretty good evidence, especially if your child is a diagnosed autistic. I am praying for all of you as I know this journey is a long one. Remember this, even if you don't see your reward here on earth, you will see it in Heaven. I truly believe that.






If you have any questions or concerns, just shoot me an e-mail at aboutbiziness@yahoo.com.










Thank you.






Gina Ann Huckaby







What I remembered may help your child be able to begin the

This is how the game works.






- Place letters in a seperate area so the child can learn letters first. Put them all over the home






- Place words with pictures that correspond with each one. When you begin with letters, use






words that correspond with each letter of the alphabet and put them.all over the child's room.






You can actually place anywhere you want. We did!






- Insure that the pictures don't have colors that can cause seizures (some yellows, etc.). You






may want to talk to the child's doctor or a doctor about this as I understand that some colors can can cause certain types of seizures in children and people with Autism.






- You can use picture's from a favorite movie like posters with two letter sentences.






- You can cut out words from a magazine and put them together to make the words. Whatever you do, use your imagination.






- Start off with age appropriate material. Age one, one word with pictures. Age two, children speak sentences, so two word sentences are okay, etc.






- Buy some item to reward the child with. Have them available so you won't have to go out and purchase them when the child does well. The better the child does, the better the reward.














Instructions on playing Find and Speak:


1) Hide certain letters and or/words along with their corresponding pictures..






2) Ask or prompt the child to try and speak the words and/or letters that are missing to you.






Inform them if they make a sound, you will reward them. Don't begin with too many missing letters and or words/picture sets. As they get better, you will be able to remove the entire set of words and/or pictures . Tell them to choose which one's are missing by taking pictures of the sets and putting them in front of the child. Ask them to pick which sets are missing by pointing at first. Tell them at some point you prefer them to talk like you do or try. Tell them they will be rewarded.  If they speak a word at anytime, you'll know what to do at some point.They will need to speak. Reinforce that it's good to learn to speak in order for mommy, daddy and others that love them to understand them. And vice-versa. Tell the child all of you want to understand what they want and/or need. The more they find at one
sitting is another way to reward. At some point you will take away the pictures; they'll have to speak which one's are missing by recall. Try not to overwhelm. If you find that you are
unable to remove the pictures, that's okay. As long as the child tries. That's all you want them to do. Other children can play to make it fun if you deem it okay. This is also a reward point by helping them to be social. Tell them the more they get along, the more fun it will be and the reward will be good for them. Use lots of praise and hugs. If hugs aren't good, use what affection is comfortable between you and the child. My daughter loved it when I praised her! She still does love it when I praise her. 






3) Inform child that the more they speak and learn the words, the
    bigger the reward. Speak to them in very loving tones. Never
    speak to them harshly. Harshness and praise doesn't work in the
   Autistic's world. It highly confuses them and will make them cry
4) Play this game as often as possible but not too much so they
    won't get bored or react badly too much stimuli. Be sure that \ 
    the evironment is condusive for learning. Other children can
    join in. Let the other children in the household know that
   sometimes you will need to play the game with the one child
   alone. You will do this with them as well. I played with both of   
   mine.




5) Remember I believe it's the repetition and visual aspect that helps.

6) The ultimate goal of the game is to get your child to try and
    speak.  The more they try, the more rewards.  The winner of this
    game at all times is the child. 




Remember, reading to your child at night reinforces the above so much. My ex-husband I read to our children at night and I believe it really helped them to be the articulate children they are today. There's nothing like reading to your child to me.




To be perfectly honest, I believe that this works because of the repetition and visual component that could make this a tool that could start your child to speak.  You could ask the child to write as well.  They will be rewarded the more different things you add to the "game".  Reading, writing, drawing...A good thing would be if your child's teacher will allow you to try this with children at school.  Tell them you'll bring them pizza if they help you work with your child and reward the kids in the classroom for being good sports.  I am not a teacher either however, I've spoken with a couple who are friends and they say they like this idea. They as well as I, thinks it could help your child. I don't think it can hurt. I'm not actually sure if Aja used this but I do know Happy Birthday was one of the pictured sets that we had on the wall in her room. Sometimes I would let her listen to the words by her favorite animal at the time, Barney was one of them and a character from Land Before Time (I can't recall the animal). I did not know Aja had Aspergers, so there is no real evidence, aside the fact that she said the words that were on the wall and she showed me at home where she remembered it. I believe it's the best evidence I have.  Would she have spoken without this, perhaps.  Because she did not have have the severe autism, more likely than not she would have spoken. 

Jessika, I know you are out there, and that there is a person inside of that physical body who wants to speak and share with the world who and what she can be. I really sincerely help that this helps the Jessika's of the world, the many autistics who I have so much to give. Here's to the mothers, fathers and caregivers who would just love for their child to say one word, to want to try, to make a gesture, a sound. I hope this will help to give you some hope. I am not guaranteeing that this game will work as it's not proven that it does. I can only go by circumstantial evidence. But, perhaps you can help me with some concrete evidence that it works. If your child all of a sudden starts speaking and it's words from the sets, then I think we can say that's pretty good evidence, especially if your child is a diagnosed autistic. My daughter spoke her first words which were Happy Birthday I believe from this game we played.  I can't think of how or where else she would have learned this. I'm praying for all of you as I know this journey is a long one. Remember this, even if you don't see your reward here on earth, you will see it in Heaven. I truly believe that. However, your reward is your child.  They are the gifts.  Believe me, their love is the purest I've ever encountered.  I hope you enjoy your child as much as I do mine.  Good luck and please keep me informed of any progress if any, that you make.   I sincerely hope you do


If you have any questions or concerns, just shoot me an e-mail at gina.huckaby@tweet4autism.com.

God bless to everyone.



Thank you.








Gina Ann Huckaby







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